"Girl Turned Grief" by Jaimee Boake
Jesulein komm macht mich fromme
five days after the funeral
roses rot on the counter
but to throw them out feels too final to bear
and grief rents a room in my heart,
sits with me at the dinner table
where everything tastes like chalk,
staring as I try to swallow my sadness,
instead of the other way round.
Das ich zu dir in himmel komm
I am girl turned teacup in shaky hands,
sloshing, spilling, delicate and difficult
to piece back together when I break and break,
an endless shattering,
try to glue myself together with a prayer I wish
I believed in as much as you
Mein hertz ich klein
I am girl turned paper cut,
that imperceptible, impossible ache,
that stinging slice
each day adding to the list of things I’ll miss:
three extra blankets just in case
a hug solid like a building’s foundation
a laugh I can’t recreate with words
so I search for your smile in the stars
Kan niemand heir rein
I am girl turned missing teeth,
faltering smile, gaping wound,
tongue slips
each time it tries to carry goodbye in that space
Als du mein liebes Jesulein
I am girl turned newspaper clippings,
cut apart
every attempt to remember
tucked in a wrought iron chest that you
would not wish to leave hollow
Jaimee Boake (she/her) is a high school English Language Arts, Creative Writing, and Leadership Teacher in Sherwood Park, Alberta, Treaty 6 Territory. She loves reading, writing, spending time with her dogs, and is happiest, always, in the mountains. A recipient of the Martin Godfrey Award for Young Writers, she is very fortunate to have her work published in various magazines and anthologies, including a few upcoming. You can read more on Instagram @jaimeeannethology.
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