"holy see" by nat raum
Updated: Oct 25, 2021
raising stakes and bleached cotton cloths bedsheets on which
to project indie films everyone knows on which to make
love sober to a rustling breeze and the wails of late summer locusts
[i always want to feel the way i felt in oaxaca: suspended
in time, like the way it feels while you’re in the air after
you jump off the high dive or when you dip your feet into
shallow hot springs or taste the first drops of agave on an
eager tongue.]
swallow the blues one at time sound-activated strobe
lights bounce through gently parted ground-floor living room
window blinds peppered chocolate french kisses
eventually there is no body je suis ici en train
de mourir whites run red bleeding pink and greying
matter to water running downhill i’ve lost all trace of
woman (i thought that psychic death was simply the
dulling of neon signs inside of me over time)
[no matter how many times anyone says purity is a myth
i can’t help but attach to the self that could have a chance
at it. but there is nothing unspoiled remaining and
therefore nothing worth saving.]
[tonight i will let myself drop through the mattress onto
the carpet below as i reminisce about each cataclysm in
reverse chronological order.]
nat raum (b. 1996, they/she) is a queer disabled artist and writer from baltimore, md, usa. their practice centers around creating hybrid work in the form of books and zines that explores existential crises, troubled states of mind, and deep dark secrets. most of their recent work pertains to their history of trauma and subsequent c-ptsd diagnosis. they are the founder and editor-in-chief of fifth wheel press.
Instagram: @pikesvillerye
Twitter: @sausage_candle
fifth wheel press IG/Twitter: @fifthwheelpress
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