"if i hate spiders then i hate myself" by Julia Blike

Updated: Jun 5, 2021


a spider is a fatal thing: in a matter of seconds,

the thought of a spider nesting up my spine

can collapse my arachnophobic lungs. a spider

is a fatal thing, and by fatal i mean a graveyard

for insects the size of humanity, and by the size

of humanity i mean spiders literally consume

a larger mass of insects than of all people

on earth, but if someone has to melt bugs

in stomach juices to restore balance

to the planet then i’d rather a spider

than me. a spider is a fatal thing, and

by thing i mean a spider is a collection of 48

knees and muscles that can only contract

but never extend, and by never extend i mean

a spider probably can’t do a push-up and neither

can i. a spider is a fatal thing, and by fatal

i mean lifesaving and by lifesaving i mean

scientists in the Defense Department study

spider silk — which is stronger than steel —

to craft bulletproof vests, and it is estimated

that a human is never more than 10 feet

from a spider and isn’t that kind of beautiful?

that the most feared creature on earth is mostly

knees and incapable of push-ups and shoots

steel from its butt and just wants to be close

enough to maybe stop a bullet from stopping

a heart and maybe that means i am more

like a spider than i would care to admit,

clumsy and small and fatally



Julia Blike (she/her) is a poet, fiber artist, and avid reader currently living on unceded Abenaki and Wabanaki Confederacy lands. Her work engages with and celebrates softness, the power of quiet, and the many ways in which trees are better than people. You can find her on Instagram @juliablike.

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