"Once, When I Was Seventeen, I Dropped Everything For The Sake Of Some Brief [...]" by Timmy Sutton
"Once, When I Was Seventeen, I Dropped Everything For The Sake Of Some Brief Light At The Edge Of A Tunnel"
and I suppose the end of winter has always been a soft promise / of spring / or
summer / or some other sundrenched naked / pair of palms / holding one another
/ as if the sweat isn’t there at all / and I also say to her / isn’t this so much better /
than the crackling of leather gloves into one another / even with the skin salted
ocean we are building / perhaps we can just call this / a monument to the ending of
the thing / or a monument to how / most endings are also a million other things /
rising actions and climaxes and dénouements / cause isn’t every period right in the
middle of some paragraph in the middle of some story / an ending amidst some
bigger ending amidst some bigger something / and I tell her / I have to believe in
the bigger something / as opposed to every ending being a new beginning / because
a beginning implies too much separation from whatever just ended / I mostly just
want / the something to keep writing itself / until / it makes its way back to
whatever something just laid down for rest / and I tell her / I need this to just be a
laying down for rest / a car stopped on the side of a silent highway / a driver asleep
until the coming sunrise / I tell her / I need a coming sunrise / or I tell her / I am
afraid of not waking up / or I tell her / I still love you / doesn’t that mean
something? / does any of this mean anything to you?
and she stares at me / silent / and splits the dry heat between us / in the backseat of
the red van / with some soft and caring version of / “no.” / and now I am also /
silent / and no longer sweating at all.
Timmy Sutton (he/him) is a person who writes, analyzes budgets, and misses his friends and family from Springfield, IL. Some of his stuff is in (or forthcoming from) Taco Bell Quarterly, Hooligan Magazine, Rejection Letters, and some other places you can find all of at https://linktr.ee/timmysutton if you really wanna. You can find him on Instagram and Twitter @timothy_matthan.